A while back I had lunch with a friend and we were
discussing how unhappy he was at his job. He doesn’t like his boss and
believes the company is mismanaged and the work does not stir his
passions any more. He has been in the same industry for many years and
worked his way up to a good mid-level management position.

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He
makes good money and they live a comfortable life. He has done a good
job saving money for his family’s future as well. When he started in
this industry it was a good job and provided well for him and his
family as they started out. But, now he feels unfulfilled and realizes
this is not what he really wants to do with the rest of his career.

Does any of this sound familiar?

I
asked him what he really wanted to do … what his passion is and if he
had no restraints he would pursue with a smile on his face and a kick
in his step. He immediately knew what that was. As soon as he started
talking about it his face lit up, his voice became clear and he became
animated describing it.

So, I asked him what was holding him back
from pursuing that path. He started talking about all the reasons he
could not do it: he wouldn’t make as much money to start as he does
now, he would have to relocate; it would require him to take some
college courses to get ready and that would take time and the list went
on.

While he was talking he started to realize what he was doing.
How he was letting his fears hold him back. What he was doing was
making excuses to himself and, letting himself off the hook from
following his dream. He knew exactly what he wanted and he knew that
his wife and family would support him all the way. Yet, he still was
not taking action to move him closer to what he wanted.

We talked
about what it would take to get started. You see, it’s not necessary
that he achieve the entire goal immediately. What is important is that
he knows what he wants, sets out specific goals to get him there and a
timeline to make it a reality. Then it is about taking the first step.
Just knowing that he was working toward the goal would have made such a
big difference to his mental state and allowed him to have focus and
hope.

Deciding what you truly want from life and then not pursing
it because of your fears, is a sure way to become frustrated and to
keep you from getting all you want from your life. My friend has been
going through the motions in his career for the past several years
because he feels he needs to - not because he wants to. That is
changing now. He has made a commitment to start taking the classes he
needs and developing the rest of his plan for his definition of success.

It
is time for you to do the same thing. If the definition of success you
wrote out really does stir your passions and speak to your heart, then
you need to ask yourself, “What is holding me back and why?” Realizing
what is holding you back is a major step you need to take in your
journey. You can’t begin a journey to get what you really want if you
let your fears get in the way.

Take the time right now to analyze
your success definition and decide what is getting in your way. Talk to
someone you trust about your dream and work out what it will take for
you to get it. This will allow you to begin to identify your goals and
build the plan to finally get what your heart desires. Don’t let
anything get in the way!

A while back I had lunch with a friend and we were discussing how unhappy he
was at his job. He doesn’t like his boss and believes the company is mismanaged
and the work does not stir his passions any more. He has been in the same
industry for many years and worked his way up to a good mid-level management
position.

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He makes good money and they live a comfortable life. He has done a good job
saving money for his family’s future as well. When he started in this industry
it was a good job and provided well for him and his family as they started out.
But, now he feels unfulfilled and realizes this is not what he really wants to
do with the rest of his career.

Does any of this sound familiar?

I asked him what he really wanted to do … what his passion is and if he had
no restraints he would pursue with a smile on his face and a kick in his step.
He immediately knew what that was. As soon as he started talking about it his
face lit up, his voice became clear and he became animated describing it.

So, I asked him what was holding him back from pursuing that path. He started
talking about all the reasons he could not do it: he wouldn’t make as much money
to start as he does now, he would have to relocate; it would require him to take
some college courses to get ready and that would take time and the list went
on.

While he was talking he started to realize what he was doing. How he was
letting his fears hold him back. What he was doing was making excuses to himself
and, letting himself off the hook from following his dream. He knew exactly what
he wanted and he knew that his wife and family would support him all the way.
Yet, he still was not taking action to move him closer to what he wanted.

We talked about what it would take to get started. You see, it’s not
necessary that he achieve the entire goal immediately. What is important is that
he knows what he wants, sets out specific goals to get him there and a timeline
to make it a reality. Then it is about taking the first step. Just knowing that
he was working toward the goal would have made such a big difference to his
mental state and allowed him to have focus and hope.

Deciding what you truly want from life and then not pursing it because of
your fears, is a sure way to become frustrated and to keep you from getting all
you want from your life. My friend has been going through the motions in his
career for the past several years because he feels he needs to - not because he
wants to. That is changing now. He has made a commitment to start taking the
classes he needs and developing the rest of his plan for his definition of
success.

It is time for you to do the same thing. If the definition of success you
wrote out really does stir your passions and speak to your heart, then you need
to ask yourself, “What is holding me back and why?” Realizing what is holding
you back is a major step you need to take in your journey. You can’t begin a
journey to get what you really want if you let your fears get in the way.

Take the time right now to analyze your success definition and decide what is
getting in your way. Talk to someone you trust about your dream and work out
what it will take for you to get it. This will allow you to begin to identify
your goals and build the plan to finally get what your heart desires. Don’t let
anything get in the way!

What you believe is what you create Think ahead 5 years. You’ve given
yourself permission to be all you can and want to be. You believed in yourself.
You’ve taken all of the necessary action steps to achieve it. Your wildest
dreams have come true. Now really feel it! Pretend like you did when you were a
child, every child has a great imagination. Get emotional! touch it, smell it
see it. expect it! How do you feel about yourself? Pretty darn good I
Imagine.

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Now, Let’s go the same 5 years ahead but this time you did not give yourself
permission to be all you could be. You did not believe in yourself. You never
took action on those little nudges from the universe. How does this feel?

Which path will you choose? Decide Now

When I came back from Iraq and what my friend calls “The University of
Fallujah” I had faced a demon that had haunted me for more than ten years. That
demon being Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.. I’d retired from the Army in 1998
and from 1998 to 2003 I had 27 jobs. I was a mess and I knew I had to cut the
wound open again so it would heal correctly. I was lucky or blessed, when I
returned to the beast that fed me in 2003. That beast was war. I went to work
for the government and I travelled all over Iraq. I knew my old friend PTSD
would catch up with me and when he did I self destructed. This will sound funny
but it was a relief to go back and know my outcome (a psycological collapse). It
was just gonna be a matter of time. I had to heal. there is nothing sane about
war. Nobody wins. There is nothing glamorous about war, except in the movies.
Believe me when shit is blowing up around you and the bad guys are in the
perimeter there is nothing sexy about it. Just a wierd terrifying peace knowing
that your time in this dimension of existance is about to change or end.

So I started over from square one. I started asking myself better empowering
questions like the previous exercise and the questions that follow.

Do you believe you can do anything with your mind? Do you create your own
reality? Do you achieve what you want? Do you visualize success constantly?

Today I can say yes to the last 4 questions.

Those are important questions.

Those questions helped create my future in advance.

It doesn’t get any easier later, it just get’s later

Peace be with you

Timothy Kendrick

Retrain
Your Brain Blogspot

Week 3 is usually turning point for most people. Students drop out (or fail
exams), athletes go stale and even army recruits become listless or rebellious.
Fitness classes in particular always start thinning out in the first week, but
keep most of the students after the third week. It is like the whole universe
wants to yank you back to where you started.

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Whether it is family, career or personal problems, there are almost always
reasons or excuses to drop the class, stop the diet, go back to a bad
relationship or take up drinking again. It often happens just before that magic
number of week 3. Day 21.

In his book, Psycho-Cybernetics, Dr. Maxwell Maltz observed that it took
generally 21 days for amputees to stop feeling sensations from their “ghost
limbs.” Since then, the 21 day habit change has become an accepted theory in
self-help and behavior modifying programs.

Memory traces (engrams) can produce neuroconnections and neuropathways if
they are bombarded for 21 consecutive days.

So, here is the key. Small efforts over a 21 day period are generally
stronger at programming a new habit than what most people do: large sporadic
attempts at changing their behavior.

Obviously, instant habits can happen due to physical, mental and emotional
trauma. These are under special circumstances. Generally, the human mind can be
cultivated into that new habit within 21 days.

Now, what do you do to stop the relapse? How do you stop yourself from
skipping workouts, staying out late or eating junk?

Answer: You make a plan to anticipate problems.

For instance:

1. Avoid situations and places where you can be to back slide. This can be
pastry shops, coffee shops or bars.

2. In unavoidable situations, like meetings at bars or coffee shops. In these
situations, bring the minimal amount of money and position yourself away from
the pastries or alcohol.

3. Avoid overreaction to the occasional setback. Even the most disciplined
people have relapses. Belittling yourself just weakens your resolve to keep
trying.

4. Keep track of your successes. Mark on a calendar every day that you stuck
to your plan.

5. Keep a journal of your progress. Your personal notes will keep you aware
of other factors, like stress.

6. Give yourself small rewards at the end of each day, such as reading or
telephoning a friend. These small rewards will assist your mind into taking on a
new habit.

How many people close to you realise how important a
part creativity plays in your life? How much do YOU acknowledge how
crucial creativity is to your wellbeing, happiness and enjoyment of
life?

If we ourselves aren’t prepared to fully admit to being
creative artists, then it would be foolish to expect those close to us
to understand or support our creative lives.

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How can you live an
authentic life, how can you be true to yourself and your artistic
ambitions if you’re hiding your talents from the world?

Here are 5 compelling reasons to come out and shout loud - “I’m creative and I’m proud”

1. You give your creativity permission to be all it can be. Permission
is a huge word when it comes to creativity. When you create without
telling anyone, you’re sending a strong message to your creative mind.
That message is that creating is something to be ashamed of, or
embarrassed about, like a terrible crime or a dirty secret. What kind
of environment does that provide for you to create in? Certainly not
one that encourages any kind of freedom or willingness to create! The
more open you are with yourself about creating, the easier it becomes
for you to be as creative as you can be.

2. You become a role model and an inspiration to others. If
you’re creating in secret, how many others do you think are in a
similar position? How many people that you count as friends also
struggle with hidden creative lives that no-one knows about? When you
create openly yourself, you’re sending out the message that it’s OK to
be an artist and explore your creativity. People you come into contact
with will hear this message and be inspired to be more open with their
own creating, which in turn inspires others they know, and so the waves
spread. As a member of an international community of artists don’t you
think it’s your duty to wear the badge proudly?

3. You help people to accept the real you.
For those of us who create, it’s a vital part of our lives. Try to
imagine what it would be like to not create at all. It’s simply
impossible, we’d be dead. So given that creativity is a core part of
your personality, if you keep it hidden from others around you, how
honest are you being in those relationships? How easy are you making it
for the people close to you to accept and embrace the real you? Be open
about being an artist and give those valuable relationships the chance
to be as honest and fulfilling as they can be.

4. You make it easier to connect with other creative people. Being
a creative person, you’ll know that there are certain aspects of
creating that only other people who create can understand and
appreciate. It’s a huge support to be able to connect with other
creative artists and share your triumphs and struggles, giving and
receiving encouragement. How can you do this if no-one knows you’re
creative? You can’t! Not only do you stop yourself from receiving
support, you deprive others of the understanding and encouragement you
can give to them in their creative efforts.

5. You give the world the opportunity to love your work.
If you’re creating in secret, and everything you create is hidden away,
or worse discarded or destroyed, you’re robbing the world of the
opportunity to love your work. You have certain creative talents and
gifts. With these comes an obligation to share them with world. “But
spending time on my own creating is so selfish!” you might cry. No,
what’s really selfish is creating wonderful artwork and depriving
anyone else from having the chance to be moved, inspired and enriched
by it.

Anyone one of these 5 reasons is a strong argument to
create out loud and stop hiding your true creative identity. Put them
together and you’ll see there’s no reason to hide the real creative you
in the closet for a moment longer!

There’s a state of creativity where your entire focus
is only on creating what you’re creating. The outside world disappears
into the background, and only one thing in the world matters, that
creative act you’re immersed in.

The ease at which you’re able to
create is sky high, the ideas and thoughts are hurtling through you
almost more quickly than you’re able to lay them down, and your
consciousness switches to an alternative state, one that’s absent of
criticism and analysis and insecurities. The excitement and joy you
feel inside is reflected by the beaming grin on your face, and time
itself seems to dissolve into some abstract concept you’re neither
aware of nor care about.

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Welcome to Total Flow.

All
of us who create have experienced this creative Total Flow at some
point in our creative lives, and the aim is to reach this state as
often as we can. So how do we get there?

Total Flow begins by having the right foundations in place.

If
we use the analogy of a professional athlete and their physical fitness
for a moment. The athlete doesn’t decide she’s going to run a marathon
a week before the event. She decides many months in advance and then
begins a training regime to prepare herself to be in the best possible
shape for the marathon. The athlete will train every day, and build
that underlying level of fitness up to a point where she can run for
miles barely breaking a sweat.

Think about your creative life right now. What sort of level is your underlying creative fitness at?

How often do you train and practice? How often does your creativity get a good workout of each its vital active parts?

Many
of us completely ignore this concept and expect to go through periods
of very little or no creativity, then be able to create at our peak at
a moment’s notice. It’s very rarely happens, if ever, and you’re simply
setting yourself up for disappointment.

Another way to imagine
this Total Flow concept is as a pan of water on a stove. The amount of
energy it requires to heat the water from room temperature to boiling
is many times more than that needed to boil the water from a state of
already simmering.

If you keep your creativity simmering by
investing time in it each and every day, then to reach that state of
boiling - that Total Flow - requires only a small increase in energy
and creativity. If you’re starting with the equivalent of a pan of cold
water each time, the extra effort needed is huge, and you’re likely to
run out of energy before you reach the boil.

Total Flow
is a state of creativity that any of us can reach, and something we
take steps to experience more often and more easily.

But
only if we make that regular investment - build up our underlying
creative fitness, keep our creativity simmering away - by creating for
a minimum amount each day.

Today’s the perfect day for you to
start. Set aside just 15 minutes today and every day for the next
couple of weeks, just to create. Stick with it and you’ll find yourself
reaching Total Flow more often, and more easily than you’ve ever done
before.

Far too many creative people beat themselves up for
no real apparent reason, many put themselves under unnecessary stress
and feel they must perform. This is a real problem because creativity
does not quite work that way. If you ask a creative person how they go
about getting into a creative mood, it’s amazing the answers you get.

It
is almost like a ritual they go through in order to put themselves into
that perfect psychological mindset and personality displacement.
Whatever works for them is great, because once in that creative space
it is just amazing what they can do. Perhaps, you are a creative person
and this is all common knowledge, if so, I salute you and a humbled by
your talents.

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Nevertheless, it is important to resist beating
yourself up or bombarding yourself with negative bio-feedback, instead
you need to give yourself what I call; a creative hug. What is a
creative hug you ask? Well, think of it this way, it is the very
opposite of the depression state. You need to uplift yourself not get
down on yourself to create. Easier said than done for that special
creative mind, yes, it’s true.

Ask yourself what do you love to
do most? Well, that’s a good place to start to reward yourself after a
creative encounter, but did you know it’s also a great place to start
to get into a creative mood as well? This is all part of giving
yourself that creative hug that you so deserve, so you can give your
best creativity to all the rest of us, who do not have your natural
talents. If you’ll do that for yourself, all of us out here well have
the best creativity to enjoy, brought to us by you.