Believe In Yourself When Faced With Bullying At Work

July 14, 2008 | Leave a Comment

You can be bully proof and cope with any attitude or behaviour that comes your way in the workplace. My view is that each and every one of us has the inner resources to feel OK and not be emotionally damaged by other people – in other words, to be bully proof.

And wait there is more. You can choose whether and how to deal with offensive conduct from colleagues, managers or acquaintances. You can remain true to yourself in whatever circumstances you find yourself in.

But how is this possible, you ask? Well, the secret lies within you. You have the inner resources to keep believing in yourself no matter what others may ‘throw’ at you. You have the inner resources to make the necessary changes to encourage others to treat you in an acceptable manner.

You cannot wait for someone else to do this for you. In fact, this is not possible. Sooner or later you need to take the action that is required if you want to become bully proof. If you expect someone else to deal with the matter for you, what will happen the next time someone tries to bully you? You will not have developed the confidence to deal with it and the cycle of bullying might begin all over again.

So there you have it. You need to change how you behave in difficult situations so that others treat you with the respect you deserve. You need to feel good about yourself no matter what others may say or do and you need to support your colleagues and friends in acquiring both the beliefs and skills to do this.

So far, so good. But how do I do this, you wonder? The key thing is to believe in yourself. Think about successful people around you who do not find the behaviour of others problematic or upsetting – you know the ones who say “Well I don’t let X upset me” or “He wouldn’t dare treat me like that”. They just get on with things, believing in themselves – knowing deep down that they are OK no matter what others say or do.

What is really interesting is that you have the ability to believe in yourself – you already have the resources you need to do this. If you would like to find these resources, think about times when you feel really OK – powerful, in control, completely at ease. It could be when you are driving your car, reading stories to your children, or swimming in the pool. Something you do where you feel strong and resourceful.

Mind Power

Think about what you believe about yourself when you are in these situations. You are likely to think, “Well, I am in charge, very capable, at ease and it is OK to feel like this – in fact it feels very good.” Now take on these same beliefs that you hold about yourself and apply them to difficult situations at work. Say to yourself, “I am a strong and resourceful person. I don’t care about this other person. The fact that they are unpleasant is their fault, not mine. I am OK.”

Try this for a little while and note how much easier it becomes with practice. As you portray this strong and relaxed persona (just as when you are driving, swimming or reading to your child) watch how people begin to treat you with respect.

Don’t forget, you have the choice – you can choose to allow someone to upset you or choose to believe in yourself.

If this article has whetted your appetite, learn more by checking out http://www.howtobebullyproof.co.uk

Jean Kelly MA, MCIPD has a wealth of experience training, coaching and investigating into all aspects of harassment and bullying at work. Check her company out at http://www.jeankellyconsultancy.co.uk

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